She asked me if she’ll be fine..
The cancer’s spread not just to the liver.. also to the lungs & spine..
Her husband looking at me in the eye..
His silence hollering, don’t tell me she’s gonna leave me behind & die..
Their grown up kids, grandkids by the bedside..
“She’ll be fine”.. I briefly lied..
For I wished to ask for all, but just close family to step out…
To discuss if treatment’s even an option.. if she’ll survive or not, with or without…
I could feel those loved ones’ hearts beating with dismay, so fast…
Aware mostly they were of the prognosis.. & knew she wouldn’t lamentably, for long last…
“But she’s a fighter”, said her husband now, “she’ll survive”…
Holding her hand, “do everything possible, she’ll be ok & very much alive”..
Treatment’s available, but there’s no cure..
She will fight it as mightily as she can, for sure..
But… with all the pills and drips, the quality of her life could be for worse, altered..
As no matter how potent the drugs she’d take, rest of her days would still be numbered..
More doctors step in, many more multidisciplinary & family conferences, we give them time to decide..
“Yes, please”, said they, “we can’t refuse the option to treat, unless we’ve just everything tried”..
Initiated is her treatment, more follow up scans, more medicines to prevent adverse effects..
But the pain’s still excruciating.. now food doesn’t stay down anymore either, despite all sorts of gimmicks..
The cancer’s just spreading like wild fire, so resistant..that malignant seems like a little word now…
“Leave all this alone, just let me go home, in my bed, I need to give’em strength to say goodbye, prepare each of them, so I’ll be at peace somehow…”
Pleaded she now, “we attempted, I fought the best I could.. at least they won’t remember me struggling in pain & wanting to live longer”.. her voice barely there, she was so brave, yet so feeble…
Cloudy everything turned, with tears, although with a clear plan.. hearts were heavy, still some in denial, praying hard for an insurmountable miracle…
-ELIXIR VITAE, A Story of her Love
NotesOfADrMom 