My only wish was, that she cried..

Poor appetite, intractable emesis,
Weight loss, tremendous,
Changed mental status,
Lay she as if lifeless ..
Just in her fifties
death though imminent seems..

Mother at bedside looks smilingly,
stating matter-of-factly ..
“Doc, she hasn’t been herself lately..
Cancer was spread everywhere apparently,
chemo’s working, recovering she’s quickly”
Sigh.. as I see her tolerating liquids barely..

Face merely teeth and eyes
Body, skin and bones,
Head, with hair I could count, so scarce
Stand I courage-less.. clueless
on how to discuss
Goals of care.. alas! Nothing but hospice!

Anorexic, emaciated
Maybe just a matter of days we surmised
She was pleasantly confused
For blessing no other I could’ve wished
Oh but a thousand times though I died..
As I wished her mom too atleast once cried..
but she with nothing but hope smiled






-Pallavi Aneja MD