Story of my life 😂😅

Just in no time, life got busy, too busy, that I didn’t realize how much everything had changed.. One big (and only) reason being, that I was and have been enjoying the two of my many roles in life, the most, let’s say, to the fullest.. just by being able to give it my all!Being a mom, and being a doctor.Last year was the time with the biggest challenges, where we had the sickest of patients, in death beds, while at home were my kids, doing every single class virtually.. But it passed. Kids were back to school, thankfully now even vaccinated. COVID rates down, though unfortunately we’ve still seeing some critical patients. And this is what I’ve been in and out of.. Waking up at 4:30, fixing breakfast for my little ones while they’re still asleep, packing their lunches and snacks, while making sure we have sufficient staffing and coverage for the patients at all the facilities, sending texts, WhatsApp messages, trying to make sure our patients are taken care of, and my babies are looked after, realizing there’s no compromise whatsoever for either of those two roles of mine, because that’s who I am.. A mom and a doctor…While my kids and patients are happy, and I was constantly striving to do even better, with the mom guilt at times at work, and my computer in my bed, in the middle of the night to check up on my patient’s vital signs, or pending labs or imaging studies, while doing homework and playing in the evenings with my kids, simultaneously staying in touch with my patients’ families over the weekends when I was supposed to be off, did not and would not ever bother me, as that’s just who I am.. trying to give my 100% to what I’ve been blessed to do.I’ve had moments, where I’ve taken home tears from work, because of being helpless during this pandemic, seeing broken families. But just being with my babies has been therapeutic.. What an amusement park they turn into, a complete de-stressor, no spa, no massage could ever be, and no money can buy…And just as therapeutic, is seeing a recovering patient you’re treating, who’s admitted under your care, seeking help, who’s cured and ready to be discharged, stable and fine, which thankfully now has been at a much higher rate than was just a little while ago sadly! These are truly some of the few things that heal a healer.. as every patient who’s better, gotten over the illness they came in with, ready to go home, is a recurring unwritten certificate of a job well done.But unfortunately, no good deed goes unpunished!Little did I realize, during these times that I was juggling between being a mother and a doctor, while my Mom and Dad, my husband, sister, always supportive of me and my work, that my social life was also now limited to my babies and my work..The get-togethers, the weekend parties, all came to a halt.. a very gradual but almost a complete one, to the point that at times I couldn’t even respond to my friends as to why I couldn’t or wouldn’t be able to show up to their birthday or anniversary or even the ongoing festive season get-togethers… I somehow simply presumed that everyone could see that I was busy but I hadn’t learnt until now, that the world doesn’t perceive your unsaid, quiet ways accurately. It was only after being blocked and unfriended from social media, that I felt, not me, but people who I thought to be close to me had moved on, drifting away from me, when probably I needed them most to ask how I was, and wait a moment to hear the answer.. They had gone too far even to care to listen at what pace life had been superhumanly moving and that it would still have been ok for us to catch up and resume it all, right from where we had left a little while ago.. I thought it was ok.. But it wasn’t! I still hoped, it was for granted that everyone else around me, or atleast the people I thought were close to me, would know that I wouldn’t ignore them just like that, but the only reason I was behaving as an introvert lately (or maybe for almost about a couple years) now, was that I was just simply, extremely busy.. Have I said that enough times already here? Probably I should’ve done it more in the past few months.. and been vocal about it, if, how I wish I had the time to do so..To anyone who has come down this far reading this, if has known me, and not heard from me, still has your calls unanswered, or when you sent me a WhatsApp message, I though happened to be online for a while, still not responding to you as I was either discussing metrics with the doctors on one of the dozen and a half work-whatsapp groups that I’ve made, or sending census reports to my employers, inadvertently seeming that I ignored your messages, or responded to you eventually if I did, after the event was over, that I’ll make it or not, forgot to wish you a happy birthday, or a happy anniversary, I whole heartedly apologize, as I didn’t do it intentionally.. I’ve just been busy, being a full time Mom, and a full time doctor.. It was not about priorities beyond this, as there weren’t really any more I could make the time for honestly..

– A doctor-mom, a friend ❤️ 💔